Emerging potty humor

We're heading up for bedtime........

Giselle 1.9: (fart sound) Ewwwwwww!

Me:  What was that?!?!?!

Giselle: (laughter) Toot!  Poopy!

Me: Yuck!

Giselle: (louder laughter) I funny!

An emerging comedian is within the fold.

Junior calls

I got a call on my phone today.

Me: Hello?

Giselle 1.9: Hi Daddy!

Me: Is this Giselle?

Giselle: Mmmm Hmmmm

Me: What are you doing?

Giselle: Me cookie.

Me: You're eating a cookie?

Giselle: Mmmm Hmmmm

Me: That sounds good!

Giselle: Mommy got cookie.

Me: Mommy got you the cookie?

Giselle: Mmmm Hmmmm.

She then tried to hang up on me a couple of times before I said goodbye and ended the conversation.  That's the issue with having three ladies in the household.  Whole lotta talking going on and Daddy is expected to be part of that chatter.

Dance time

Kali 4.7 and Giselle 1.9 both watched 'Mamma Mia' with me the other night.  It's a good 'grown up' movie for them.  Lots of color, dancing, and songs to keep them interested.  I danced around with them for awhile just to keep them entertained.  Thankfully, they're too young to make fun of Daddy's dancing at this point.

Because of my occupation at an event location that has a lot of weddings, I had a realization.  I was dancing with them, spinning them, dipping them, etc.  I realized that some day, I'm going to be that dad, giving away his girls at a wedding, dancing with them at the reception, etc.  I'm not sure how well I'm going to do in that regard.  Ah well.  I have a couple decades at a minimum to figure that all out.

The Bookworm

Giselle 1.9 is all about learning.  If you're sitting on the couch in the living room, that girl will just bring one book after another until you cut her off.  There's been some nights where we had a pile of 20+ books sitting next to the couch after a marathon reading session.  Add in that we usually read each book twice and we're going through a LOT of books.

Not only are the books interesting to her, but she remembers the words on each page or things that Mommy or Daddy might have said about those pages in previous readings.  I often get caught off-guard while reading when she just spits out information about those pages before I even start reading.  There are some books that she has memorized.

I'm very blessed to have two kids who don't take after me in the intelligence department.

Kali the President.......

I was talking with Kali 4.7 about the money we were counting. We've been saving my money in a glass vase together for our trip to Disney World this fall.

Kali: Daddy, why are there pictures on all the money? 

Me: Those people are all people that were important in our history. 

Kali: Oh. Well who is that man? 

Me: That man is very important. He's the very first president of the United States. His name is George Washington. 

Kali: He was a president? 

Me: Yep. Kali: Well, I'm president of my room! I'm the boss in there! 

Me: Oh yeah? 

Kali: Yeah! I'm the boss! 

Me: Well, do you have your picture on the kingdom of Kali's money? 

Kali: No. 

Me: Why not? 

Kali: Well, I just don't. I'm a kid! I can't have my picture on money yet! 

Me: Fair enough. Maybe sometime in the future. 

Kali: Yep.

Saving for Disney........

I've been saving extra money from work as spending money for our trip to Disney World in September. Kali 4.4 asked what I was doing when I put some money in a glass. I told her I was putting money aside to use when we go on our trip. Kali told me she had money to help as well.

She ran into her room and came back with her piggy bank. She was excited to dump out the change in her piggy bank (which was quite a bit to be honest) and put it in the 'Disney Vase'. She's excited to keep saving more money for Disney and has already said she'd like to keep saving after our trip so 'we can go to Disney again!'.

One trip at a time, eh?

The best of the bunch........

My wife does everything for our family. She's nurturing, kind, considerate, loving, patient, helpful, and thoughtful. She's always looking out for the best interest of our children. She does whatever it takes to make sure they're always learning even when doing things that don't seem like learning.

As a result, my daughters love her unconditionally. When Mommy enters the room, anything being done at that time is dropped and the girls make sure to let Mommy know that they love her.

What a blessing that I have a wife that is such a good mother. She makes my job easy at times because she's able to do so much for our family. You can never thank someone enough for that, but I'll keep trying.

Just to be clear.........

Kali 4.2 had to clear up an issue with Daddy a couple days ago:

Kali: Today at school, all the boys stood on one side of the room and all the girls stood on the other side of the room.

Me: Which side did you stand on?

Kali: (laughing) I stood on the GIRL side.

Me: What?

Kali: I said I stood on the GIRL side!

Me: Wait, your a girl?

Kali: YES!

Me: When did this happen?

Kali: It happened when I was born a girl. God made me a girl.

Me: Oh, he made you a girl?

Kali: YES!

Me: Oh, well that's good to know.

Kali: (giggling)

First night being a 'big girl'..........

I just took down Giselle 1.5's crib tonight and replaced it with a toddler bed. She's in her room right now trying to figure out what's going on.

She's very excited to have her own bed. She rolled around in it and checked it out with Kali 4.2. She decided to toss her pillow out of bed. She wanted to lay down without a pillow. She's got 'bunny', 'puppy', and 'blanket' in there to keep her company.

We'll see how it goes. Hopefully a nice quiet evening.

Glad we're rid of him.......

The U.S. Navy Seal Team knocked on Osama Bin Laden's door a few days ago and gave him his final punishment: death. He obviously deserved it and it was long overdue.

I'm sure that his death won't end terrorism as we know it. There will always be another idiot looking to gain power by attempting to strike fear in the hearts of people. With that said, I'm glad that my daughters will never have to know a world with Bin Laden. I'm also glad that they'll be able to look back in their history books and see that a bad guy who did some terrible things eventually was dealt with by our armed forces and that he wasn't able to get away with his actions without consequences.

Hopefully his computers have an address book of names that we can deal with the same as we dealt with Osama.

Where's the words?

Giselle 1.5 has some issues with communication right now. She'd like to have things or do things, but she's decided that she's going to stick with grunting and yelling rather than migrate over to asking specifically for what she wants. We know she knows the words, but (even the second time around) it can lead to frustration by both Giselle and me.

I think part of the problem may be that Giselle is a bit more like Daddy than Kali 4.2 has been. Kali's very nurturing and doesn't hide her emotions much like her mom. Giselle is very forward and lets you know exactly how she feels much like Daddy. It should provide an excellent learning experience for me as I learn how to parent my doppelganger.

You know it's time to potty.........

Giselle 1.5 and Kali 4.2 decided to take a bath together last night. Kali said that she needed to go potty before the bath. She went over and sat on the toilet to do her business.

Giselle had her diaper off. Giselle saw Kali and said 'Potty!'. She ran over to the toddler potty and sat right down on it. She then stood up and said 'Potty!' again. She walked to the other end of the bathroom, turned to look at me, and then went potty on the spot.

The effort is there, but we're going to have to work on the timing.

Notes from the world of chaos.......

-When your four year old brings home 'pretty rocks' from the neighbor's yard that include shards of glass, it's very difficult to convince them that the shard of glass is not a pretty rock.

-A one year old child that gets excited while holding a fork can be very dangerous, especially when a prong of said fork flies into their mouth and pokes a hole in their gums.

-Dogs who roll in poop in the backyard can stink for a very long time.

-Giving a young child a balance platform to play with can lead to issues when they fall off that balance ball.

-Having your two daughters go up to play in their room together is a wonderful thing.......until the first time one of them decide that sharing isn't an option.

-Bathing two children together is always a good idea. They splash each other rather than you.

-Having a one year old who believes a toilet is a drinking fountain is a problem. She rightfully earns the name 'poopy-breath'.

On the move...........

Giselle 1.2 has taken her first steps over the past week or so. She can walk a few steps before falling down or reaching her destination.

Last night, I asked her to walk over to me. She did it the first couple of times. After that, it became a game for her. She'd walk a few steps, fall down intentionally, and then crawl back to start over. She did this about 10 times, falling in the same spot each time. She thought it was pretty funny that Daddy wanted her to come over, but she never made it. Kali 4.0 soon joined in and Giselle would walk over and fall down before reaching Kali as well.

It's only a matter of time before Kali starts copy-catting her sister's antics. Heaven help us.

An impact.......

At work today, I had a group of four retired ladies come in to visit. One of them had visited previously and decided to bring three of her friends out to see the place. She and her friends visit a new place each month just to broaden their horizons a bit. I gave them a full tour of our winery and they loved it all. They were thrilled to see so much of the history being saved for future visitors to see.

I put together a couple of cheese plates and let them try a couple of the wines. They chatted about a bunch of things while I was doing some work around the building. When they were finished up, two of them both told me that I had made their day by taking them through the place and chatting with them. While we run a business that is highly based on customer service, it's always nice to hear someone note that your efforts to make them feel welcome have made a positive impact on their day. Things like that boost you to do just as well for the next customers that walk through your doors.

Random notes.........

-When you go into a Wal-Mart, always note that the older gentleman with a name tag that says 'greeter' is just that, a greeter. If you ask him where an electronics item is, he's likely to look at you with a clueless look.

-If you suddenly realize that your greeter has hearing aids, you then have to decipher whether he couldn't hear your question or if he doesn't know what the item is you're asking about.

-When your four year-old makes observations that you never thought she noticed, you're in big trouble as a parent.

-A second child learns things much faster when watching the first born child. Giselle 1.2 may not be talking, but she's wicked smart.

-Running your own business brings on all new forms of challenges, but it's fantastic to invest your time in something you believe in as opposed to investing your time on what you feel are fruitless endeavors.

-It's amazing how many businesses don't understand that a smile and friendly conversation goes a long, long way to making customers very happy.

The letter of the day.......

The other day, we were in the car on a drive home. I decided to mix things on the ride to keep things interesting.

Me: Kali, do you know what the letter of the day is?

Kali 4.0: What's the letter of the day, Daddy?

Me: I'm going to let you pick it! What's the letter of the day?

Kali 4.0: The letter of the day is 'A'!

Me: Great choice! So now let's name some words that start with 'A'!

Kali 4.0: Apple starts with 'A'. Acorn starts with 'A'.

Me: OK, my turn. Ant starts with 'A'.

Mrs. Lime: I've got one! Orangutan!

Me: (Laughing) Did you just say "orangutan"?

Mrs. Lime: (smiling a nervous grin) Yes, doesn't that start with 'A'?

Me: (Laughing harder) Try an 'O'.

Mrs. Lime: (Laughing) Oh.

Dinner equity

Tonight's dinner was hot dogs. The breakdown was as follows:

Daddy - 2 hot dogs
Mommy - 2 hot dogs
Kali 3.11 - 2 hot dogs
Giselle 1.2 - 2 hot dogs

You know your family has reached an interesting transition point when the kids are eating just as much for dinner as the parents. Evidently, we've reached that point.

School pictures........

I just had a 'You're getting old' moment. Kali 3.10 just had her first school pictures.

My daughter has officially reached the point where I'm going to start receiving a yearly (or semi-yearly) record that she's growing up and I'm getting old. This is NOT good.

***goes back to bathroom to apply anti-aging creams***

Giselle gets her legs........

Giselle 0.11 finally is starting to figure out the whole standing thing. Yesterday, I put a glass on the table that was a 'safe' distance from the edge of the table since Giselle doesn't stand up yet. Unfortunately, that safe distance is no longer safe when your daughter decides that she's now ready to stand up and start walking herself around that coffee table.

I was looking at my computer and heard the glass fall over and looked up wondering how in the world that glass could have done that. All questions were answered when Giselle looked over at me, standing up on her feet with glass in hand.

Note to self: Safe distances have just been reset to a new level.

How can that happen?

A fraternity brother of mine has been posting periodic updates about his friend's one-year old daughter and their fight with cancer at this website......

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/lucyweber

Unfortunately, the little girl passed away from her illness yesterday. This kind of stuff hits you like a load of bricks when your a parent of a one year old daughter. I can't even imagine dealing with losing my daughter after a year of life. Something like this allows me to remain focused on what is most important in my life. Silly things that happen pale in comparison to what my daughters mean to me.

BBQ time........

Giselle 0.11 and Kali 3.9 went along with the family tonight to Arthur Bryant's BBQ. Always great stuff. Kali went with the chicken and Giselle decided to eat a couple of my ribs. I'm always shocked by the amount of food my little kids can eat. Kali just plowed through a pile of fries and then wanted more. Giselle tore through her fries and rib meat and just kept saying 'mo, mo'. She was HUNGRY. Interestingly enough, Giselle seems to be eating more while starting to thin out. She's stretching out and just keeps looking for more food to fuel that growth.

Arthur Bryant's. Fueling growth spurts one plate at a time.

Not your normal order at a restaurant.........

I was sitting with my friend Bobby at a restaurant for lunch today. I was just about to start ordering from the waitress when I saw a call from Mrs. Lime's phone. I asked the waitress to wait a second because it was my wife. Note that Bobby and my waitress were only hearing my end of the conversation.

Me: Hello?

Kali 3.9: Daddy, will you bring my butler home from Papa's buildings?

Me: Yes, sweetie. I will bring your butler home today.

(Bobby and waitress bust out laughing)

Me: Is there anything else?

Kali 3.9: Could you also bring back my mini-butler?

Me: Yes, I will bring back the mini-butler as well.

(Bobby and waitress continue laughing)

Me: I've got to let you go. I'll see you when I get home, OK?

Kali: OK, but don't forget my butler.

Me: I won't forget it. Bye.

For the uninitiated, we have two animated butlers that we put up over Halloween. We took them out to Papa's winery for the trick or treaters over the weekend and Kali was requesting they be returned. But it made for great amusement for my waitress and Bobby.

And lunch was very good as well.

Wiped out.........

Worked a LOT today.......

4:30 AM: Wake up
5:00 AM: Start working at the winery on trim for windows
8:30 AM: Run to Quiktrip for a caffeine boost and breakfast
8:45 AM: Lots of stain work on trim
11:45 AM: Hour long photo shoot for KC Star
1:00 PM: Quick lunch break
1:30 PM: More trim staining
2:00 PM: Meet with bride and groom who visited for a second time.
2:20 PM: More staining
5:35 PM: Homeward bound
6:00 PM: Get home to take care of kids
6:35 PM: Trip with kids to pick up supplies for winery events tomorrow.
8:00 PM: Giselle asleep
9:30 PM: Kali to bed.

Hopefully a good night of rest now.

Creative imagination

Kali 3.9 has really upped her imagination over the last few months. She's having very thorough cell phone conversations with all her friends. She just got off the phone with her cousin Gwen, who evidently invited her over to dinner tonight. In addition, she received two calls from Denver, Colorado. Her friend Brian called to inform Kali that he will be dressing up as a Crayola marker for Halloween. Her other friend Allison called to tell Kali that she'll be dressing up as a ninja.

I'm anxiously awaiting the next call. Who's next?

Wacky Wal-Mart.......

Kali 3.9, Giselle 0.10 and I headed off to pick up a marine battery at Wal-Mart tonight. Kali had just purchased a witch costume today, so of course, she wanted to wear it to Wal-Mart. I decided to choose my battles wisely and let her do so.

We walked in and immediately, Kali was the center of attention. The greeter greeted her as Samantha the Good Witch. Giselle began to clap for Kali and her newfound celebrity status.

As we went through the store, Kali started to 'want' some things. I made it clear we were only here for a 'daddy thing' and then we were leaving. When that didn't suffice, I immediately went to an alternate plan. I informed Kali that real witches were not allowed in Wal-Mart after 8:00 PM. She asked if that's why she was the only real witch in the store. I informed her that we had three minutes until we had to be out of the store. We literally ran from the rear of the store. Kali was relieved when we made it out of the store one minute before it was time to get out.

Creative parenting is a beautiful thing.

Lots of chatter...........

Giselle 0.10 is really talking away at this point. Lots of babble mixed in with a few ma-ma, ba-ba, and some giggles. She's finally starting to stretch out in height. She's crawling quite a bit, so that extra work could be the cause of that change.

Kali 3.7 is in the full swing of being a kid now. She goes to preschool two days a week and does dance class one day a week. She loves preschool. We initially sent her for half-day school, but she begged us to go all day so that she could play with her friends all day instead of leave in the middle of the day. Request granted. Anything to make sure she burns more energy.

Parroting..........

I'm in an unfortunate situation. When I hear something from Mrs. Lime or if I screw up and she tells me what I screwed up, Kali 3.8 serves as a voice recorder for what's being said. As a result, if I end up making the same mistake or doing the same thing at another time, my daughter is there to reprimand me.

Rolling stops at a stop sign are a prime example. She learned that we're supposed to come to a COMPLETE stop. So if I roll the stop sign in the SLIGHTEST, I hear 'Daddy, you didn't stop! I saw a stop sign and you didn't stop!'.

If I do something in the kitchen and Mrs. Lime doesn't do it the same way I do, Kali is there to ensure that I am told exactly how Mommy says to do it.

I have a feeling this will get worse rather than better since Kali is showing signs of great intelligence. As we all know, the kid always knows more than the adult.

Wisdom from a three year-old.......

"Daddy, babies drop their bottles on the floor all the time. That's why you should never have a baby."

Heaven

Kali 3.7 and I had a discussion last night about her Great-Grandma's passing. She doesn't really understand death yet, but it was worth a try.

Me: We're going to Great Grandma's funeral tomorrow. She died.

Kali: Where is she now?

Me: She's in heaven.

Kali: Where's heaven?

Me: It's in the clouds.

Kali: She's up in the clouds?

Me: Yep, she's up there with Great Grandpa.

Kali: Did he die too?

Me: Yes, there up in the clouds together.

Kali: Are they with Baby Jesus?

Me: Yes.

Kali: Is Jesus with his mommy and daddy?

Me: Yes.

Kali: We should get on an airplane and go up to visit them.

Me: Not a bad idea. Do you want to visit the clouds?

Kali: No, I want to stay in my bed.

Me: OK, you can stay in your bed. We'll visit there another time.