Five kinds of stupid in there........

My task was simple. Take an envelope into the local supermarket. Purchase postage for the envelope and then pick up milk. The postage situation was done in less than a minute. I found the milk and headed up to the cash register.

I went into the express line. The sign said '12 items or less'. In front of me in line stood a slob of a man with at LEAST 50 items in his cart. I could tell right off the bat that the cashier was pretty peeved that this guy was in his express aisle. Worse yet, after a few minutes of checking out, the guy decided to tell the cashier that he wanted a carton of cigarettes AFTER the rest of the items were scanned. I guess telling that to the cashier in advance never occurred to him.

The cashier was obviously irritated and told the guy that the cigarettes were at another counter. The guy responded that they told him to ask for them at checkout. So the cashier called a sack boy over to retrieve the cigarettes. Sackboy came back a minute later with a PACK of cigarettes. The cashier sent Sackboy back to get a carton instead.

A eco-friendly lady behind me (she had soy milk) leaned in front of me and loudly said, 'Do you know what we're waiting on?'. She obviously said it loudly to make sure she thoroughly irritated whoever was causing the delay. I just shrugged my shoulders, trying to avoid saying 'Yes, it's the MORON in front of me!'. The slob obviously heard her comment and looked down the line and said he 'was sorry for the confusion'. I continued to stare at a spot far away from the cashier, hoping to avoid saying 'You should apologize for the fact that you can't count to ten!'.

Meanwhile, for some unknown reason, the slob in front of me wrote out a check for the amount currently listed on the display, which did not include the carton of cigarettes yet. Sackboy arrived with the carton of cigarettes just as the slob was handing the cashier the check for the wrong amount. So the cigarettes were scanned in and we had to wait while the slob wrote a new check and voided out the old check.

I was thrilled when it was finally done and I could buy my $4 worth of milk and leave the joint. It was an exercise in self-control, but I thankfully came out of the supermarket without offending anyone.