The poker room with flirting (and drinks!) included......

We decided to sit down in a 1-3 NL game at the Wynn around 9:00 PM. My friend BT was at another table and I was at the table next to the rail. It seemed like things were normal enough in the poker room that night. Little did I know how nutty the night would get over the next 6 hours or so.

First let me give you a layout of how the poker room is set up. The poker room is divided into 4 sections. The front left and front right sections along with the back left section of the room are all just normal ring games where you can sit down and play and leave when you want. The back right section of the room had about 10 tables and that was where the tournaments were held. They had tourneys in the Wynn poker room where the buy in was $350 and another one that was $500. The tourneys were played on a daily basis. Some of the better players show up on a regular basis to play in the tourneys.

Early on, there was a lot of excitement at BT's table. A girl next to him was dealt two aces. She raised to $50 and 3 people called her bet, including an older man who was playing his first hand. The flop had nothing of real consequence. The girl bet out another $50 and the other three people called again. So we've got a $400 pot already with two cards yet to come. The next card is a king. The girl with AA goes all in for another $100 or so. All three of the other players call the raise. She flips over her AA and finds two of the players have very little and the older guy who just sat down has King-Two. She's a monster favorite as the guy with K2 has to hit one of the last two kings in the deck to win the pot, which is now over $800 (You can imagine how big the mound of chips was with $1 and $3 chips). Lady Luck arrives for the older guy on the river as a king falls, allowing him to rake in a pot of over $800 when he only had a 5% chance of winning the hand. Poker is a cruel, cruel game at times.

Meanwhile, in the rest of the poker room, there was a different focus. Mrs. Lime and her sister (we'll call her Blondie) were now standing 'on the rail' (term for the railing separating the poker room from the rest of the casino) watching my game. As I quickly found out, most of the poker room had spotted Mrs. Lime and Blondie before I did. A couple of guys at the table were already making eyes at the ladies before I started talking to Mrs. Lime and they figured out there was a connection. They asked who my wife was so they would know who was the available one. All of the guys were nice about it. Mrs. Lime was on the waiting list to get in a game and the guys were hoping that she got to come to our table.

Early on, a big guy with an accent sat down at our table. It was pretty obvious to me and the guy sitting next to me that the new guy had a lot of money. He was actually waiting for a bigger game to get started. He folded his first hand and immediately struck up a conversation with Mrs. Lime and Blondie. I wasn't part of the whole conversation, but I did notice Mrs. Lime kept turning and smiling at me. I got the feeling he was buttering up the girls pretty good. But my attention was on the poker game and the large stack that the new guy brought to the table. So I quickly lipped the words 'distract him' and gestured toward the new guy. Mrs. Lime knew exactly why I wanted her to keep him busy. The obvious hope would be that he was so busy talking to the girls that he might make a mistake that I might end up benefiting from at some point. At one point, another guy came over to talk to the girls. The new guy quickly told him to 'get away from his girlfriends' and that 'he would kill him' if he didn't do so. The other guy quickly left. By the way, the girls did keep the new guy distracted enough for the table to take about $60 from him before he moved to a bigger game, but unfortunately, I didn't get any of that money.

Meanwhile, the floor manager of the poker room came over to the rail to talk with Mrs. Lime and Blondie. He came over to inform them that most of the guys in the tournament had noticed them on the rail and most of them were interested in buying them a drink. Given that drinks at the Wynn can run you $10-12 (except in the poker room where they're free), the girls could have probably received several hundred dollars in drinks if they wanted to do so. The floor manager informed the girls that he would keep the guys at arm's length and to let him know if they needed anything. Blondie commented to the floor manager that they weren't interested in any drinks but 'if anyone wanted to buy them a Ferrari to let them know'. Blondie obviously mentioned this because we had just gone through the Ferrari dealership located in the Wynn and had seen lots of really cool Ferrari's valued as high as $1.2 million. The floor manager quickly responded that the only guy who could actually do something like that was the new guy who they had been talking with the whole time. My wife and her sister sure do know how to pick them!

Mrs. Lime, Blondie and I were constantly on the lookout for any 'sugar daddy' situations while we were in Vegas. You know what I'm talking about. The guy in his 50's or older who has a 20-something, drop-dead gorgeous girl on his arm. As long as he keeps dropping the money, she'll keep hanging around. I spotted the ultimate sugar daddy while sitting at the poker table. I looked out into the hallway and saw a guy who wasn't a day under 65 walking down the hall with a tall, blonde in a red cocktail dress who couldn't have been over 26 if that. I motioned to Mrs. Lime to look. She saw them and busted out laughing. It was the best 'sugar daddy' couple we had seen while in Vegas. I sometimes wonder why a girl that looks that good would go to those lengths to get in that type of a situation, but who am I to judge I suppose. As long as they're having a good time.

Mrs. Lime eventually was called for the game and the floor manager made sure to escort her over to our table. Several of the guys at the table started chanting 'We win! We win!' when Mrs. Lime got a seat at our table. They were begging the floor manager to bring her over to our table the whole time and were quite happy with her arrival. Generally the conversation was good and everyone had a pretty good time. Nothing exciting happened after that. Mrs. Lime busted out after about 2 1/2 hours. I doubled up on an all-in bet with two eights that eventually turned into a full house. We stayed at the poker room until around 3:30 AM and then headed up to take a quick nap before it was time to head home.

Trouble on the haircut front......

As those of you who regularly read the blog know, my wife's gay hairdresser was dismissed from his position for doing his best impersonation of Cheech and Chong at his place of employment. As a result, there were only two females workers left to do the job.

Yesterday, I dropped by for the usual 'shearing' of my hair that had grown way too long. I have a habit of letting the hair go totally out of control before I get it cut partially because I'm lazy and partially because I'm a cheapskate. When I got to the salon, there's a new haircutter in the place. Cute girl who wore high heels. My question is why someone would ever wear heels to a job where they have to stand up all day? Good lord.

I mentioned our Vegas trip to the girls. Told them that it was relatively cheap for flight and hotel. They all agreed they needed to go out there. None of the three had ever been to Vegas before. In addition, one of them mentioned that an annual 'hair care' convention is held in Vegas. She thought maybe they could go then and treat it as a business trip. My mind immediately created a visual of thousands of hair stylists in Vegas all at once. I don't know exactly what it would be like, but there were a lot of really bad haircuts in my visualization of the situation.

At the end, I head up to pay and, *gasp*, the price of a haircut has gone up!!!!! $30.00?????? Good lord. I paid the increased rate and managed a smile, but this is definitely another strike against the stylist in the 'stylist vs. barber' debate that I had earlier in my blog. She's going to have to do even more work now to exceed the positives of the barber experience. I may look like a wolf-man by the time I head back for another haircut. Obviously, I have to make sure that I get my money's worth out of this $30 (!) haircut.

A true Vegas cowboy......

I sat down for a little 1-3 No Limit poker at the Wynn. Beautiful poker room. Definitely built for the better clientele. The chairs were very comfortable. The tables had wonderful felt on them. Automatic shufflers were at all tables. My good friend BT and I sat in for a couple of hours of poker.

We had a couple of characters at our table, but the one that out-shined them all was a guy they all called 'Cowboy'. He wore brown leather boots. He had a brown leather belt with a big old belt buckle with a large depiction of Texas. He wore classic blue jeans. He had on a long sleeved button up cowboy shirt with a large cowboy hat and a scarf tied around his neck. This guy couldn't have been more cowboy if the Marlboro man himself sat down at our table.

He was a gambler at heart. He loved to talk up the game as he was playing. He'd raise with almost anything. He even raised with a flourish by firing the chips up in the air. While everyone else bought into the game for around $150, Cowboy bought in for $500. Total intimidation was his game and if you came into a hand against him, you better be ready for a re-raise of your bet. You knew you were in big trouble when he reached for his chips and said his favorite phrase......"Cowboy up, I'm all in!". I had the unfortunate opportunity to hear that phrase twice.

The first time, I had Ace-Queen. The blinds were 1 and 3 dollars. I was the small blind and Cowboy was the big blind. I raised to $10 total, hoping to steal Cowboy's big blind. Cowboy looked at me and said, "Are you trying to steal my money? Cowboy up, I'm all in!"

My heart sunk. What was he pulling on me? He had played all kinds of hands over the first hour or so. But Cowboy knew that I was a tight player, so he must have a decent hand in order to make that kind of a move. I looked at Cowboy and he was just smiling from ear to ear. He sensed my frustration and knew that I probably had something. He asked me if I had an Ace. I said I did. He said 'uh oh'. He then asked me what my kicker was (i.e. what the other card was). I said a Queen and watched his face. He then told me that I should probably fold. Normally he lied, but I just felt he had AK or a poker pair. I wasn't willing to risk all my chips ($145 or so) against either AK or a pocket pair. I told him I had to lay it down. I flipped over my AQ and he said "Good fold" and flipped over his cards. He had......AQ. I smiled and pat him on the back and told him "Good hand".

Not long after that, I raised to $12 total with two tens. Cowboy and one other player called. The flop came 7-7-3. The other guy checked and I bet another $12 since my pair was higher than anything on the board. Of course, I immediately heard behind me, "Cowboy up, I'm all in!"

This is normally an easy call for me, but Cowboy had changed his play over the past hour. He was being more selective in the hands he played. I went into a shell again. I had to start talking with Cowboy again. I said I couldn't believe I was in this position again. I said aloud that I had an overpair (meaning I had at least a pair of 8's in my hand). Surprisingly, he said he also had a pocket pair. I actually believed him. He also said that he hoped I didn't have Jacks. Hmmmm......what does that mean?

If he has 88 or 99, I'm a 4.5:1 favorite the rest of the way. On the other hand, he may think I have Jacks, which in that case he may be trying to bait me in to call because he has AA, KK, QQ or he may have a 7 in his hand and have 3 7's. In any of those cases, I'm a 4.5:1 underdog at best and even worse off against 3 7's. I decide that although he may have 88 or 99, the chances of him having a good hand in the latter set of hands are very possible. I decide to fold and ask him if he'll show if I show my hand. He says 'sure' and I flip over my tens. He flips over......99. I would have been a monster favorite, but I don't feel terrible about my fold. I considered my options and made a choice and it just didn't work out. That's poker. I pat him on the back again with a smile and congratulated him again. He thanked me and smiled back.

I got to talk with him more over the rest of the time at the table. I asked him if he had family. He said he did. He said he lived near the Rio and his wife lived near the Stardust casino. I was about to switch topics, hoping to avoid any divorce/separation conversations when he continued on. He said that his first mistress lives in Henderson, NV and his second mistress lived near Green Valley Ranch. I immediately began to laugh (I have a feeling he usually gets that reaction after disclosing that fact) and I said it sounded like he was a busy man. He just smiled and said, "A cowboy's work is never done."

I also found out that Cowboy has a occupation other than poker player. Evidently, Cowboy is also a sports bookie on the side. He had a sheet listing the odds for the games that day. His phone was ringing off the hook. At one point, someone called and I remember hearing him say, "Listen, sweetie. You've been a great friend of mine. I know you lost that last bet, but because you've been such a good customer, I'm not going to take your money on that bet."

He was playing the bookie salesman game big-time.

Also, he had an e-mail detailing what appeared to be some sort of insider tip regarding one of the game. I got the feeling that he had info that he wasn't supposed to have. People came over and would look at his sheet and write down their bets on the sheet. It appeared that he ran tabs for the players where they could 'owe' him if they lost. When Cowboy finally got ready to leave the game, he asked if anyone at the table liked football or basketball. A couple of guys raised their hand and Cowboy reached into his pocket and pulled out business cards touting his bookie business.

A bookie and poker player with two mistresses and a wife. If there's anyone that is more Vegas than this guy (outside of Elvis or Newton John), I'd love to see it. Guys like this are why I play poker.

FYI.....I lost $40 in 3 hours, but I had a blast doing it.

Couple of interesting people.......

First poker session in Vegas was a good one for me. Only played about 2 hours and ended up $90 thanks to some very bad play by some of the other players. Of course, I won't be writing much about the actual poker, but will be writing about the people I played with at the table.

First guy I started talking with was a younger guy. Per my usual, I started the conversation by complimenting one of his hands. They always appreciate it and you can usually get information both about their game and about them in general by using this method. Really nice guy from Michigan. He was around 25. He had moved to Vegas about 2 months ago and was in poker dealer school.

I started asking him questions about the whole process to become a poker dealer. He said there's one school in the Vegas area that is the one that almost everyone learns the trade. He said a lot of it is just running games and practicing the art of being a good dealer. Several people sit down around a table and they take turns dealing to the other dealers. Eventually, after several sessions, you get your certification (you have to take a written test to be certified). Once you're certified, you then begin to work your way throughout the ranks, getting better shifts and better casino placings as you go along. The money is actually quite good and most only have to work 4 shifts a week. Interesting to hear how all that works.

Another guy I saw was a guy sitting right next to me. He was drinking and was a pretty loose player (i.e. he would play a lot of hands). Being a relatively conservative player, I obviously didn't mind a bad player who was drinking playing at my table. I took a decent size pot off him initially as part of my $90 in winnings.

After awhile, another guy and I began to talk with the guy. Really nice guy from California. Said he was out to have a good time for the weekend. As we continued to talk, it became pretty obvious why he was out in Vegas to have a good time. He informed us that he would be getting on a plane in 4 days to head over to western Iraq. Tough situation. He is in the Marines and was going to be providing support for the Army. One of the guys mentioned that there was at least better armor and somewhat better security over there now. The guy said 'yep', but I could tell from the way he responded that he wasn't too convinced of that.

He had a few more drinks and lost a little more money while I was there. I had to head off to dinner. I did the usual 'good luck everyone' to the table and wished the marine well overseas and told him to keep his head down. He thanked me for the well wishes and I headed off to dinner. As I type this, that Marine has just arrived into Western Iraq. Hopefully he's doing well and remembering to keep his head down.

The day that Osama quivered......

So I came back from a poker game in Vegas to eat lunch with Mrs. Lime and her sister. We ate at an Italian bistro (picture at left) in Caesar's Palace. Great food, but there was one issue. Mrs. Lime's sister order a hamburger. When they brought the food to the table, she asked for ketchup and mustard for her burger. The waitress said they didn't have ketchup or mustard. I actually laughed out loud while the girls just smiled at that point. I asked the waitress, "What kind of a restaurant is this that you don't have ketchup or mustard?"

She smiled and replied, "This is an Italian restaurant", with a smile showing that she was really excited about the fact that she knew it was an Italian restaurant.

Right away, I knew I was dealing with a young waitress of obviously superior intellect. Immediately after she left without resolving the ketchup/mustard issue, Mrs. Lime's sister noticed a table only a few feet away had a ketchup bottle sitting right in the middle of the table. So we asked our waiter (not the girl who brought the food) if we could have ketchup and mustard. He said there was no mustard but they did have ketchup. Good enough. We got the ketchup and later the same girl walk by our table. I saw her look down at our table and notice the ketchup. She got a puzzled look on her face, but she just kept on walking.

After dinner, Mrs. Lime decided we should head out to The Gun Shop. I'm not a huge gun fan, but I went along for the amusement. As we stepped out of the cab, we immediately heard the ring of fully automatic gunfire. Even if you know it's coming, it's quite unnerving. We went inside and it was pretty much your everyday gunshop. They had guns of all sizes and shapes for sale.

There was a long line in the store at the rental counter. They have a large variety of guns that you can rent and purchase ammo to try them out. It's obviously a big hit with the tourists. They have anything from a pistol all the way up to a tripod machine gun. Mrs. Lime and her sister both decided they wanted to shoot the fully automatic M-16. Mrs. Lime selected Osama Bin Laden for her target and her sister picked out Saddam Hussein. We got all the gear on (shooting glasses and headsets) and headed into the range.

In the range, there were probably 12 shooting stations, many of which were full. Mrs. Lime stepped up and got some instruction from the guy at the range. He set her up and she started firing. The visual of my wife blasting off rounds with a M-16 was both funny and frightening all at once. My main thought was that I probably should avoid pissing her off in the future now that she knows how to handle a fully automatic weapon. She ripped off about 50 rounds in a very short period of time and then her sister took her shots with 25 rounds. When they finished out, Osama and Saddam both looked a bit worse for the wear. Osama had taken about 4 shots to the heart out of Mrs. Lime's 50 rounds (4 out of 50 isn't bad) and her sister had hit Saddam with several shots to the torso. With the girls having done their part on the War on Terror, we headed back to the strip for more gambling and eating. After watching them shoot, I was ready for a strong drink.

Couple of very cool things about the picture below. First, note the muzzle blast that I just happened to catch on this photo. Second, if you look just above Mrs. Lime's left hand, you can actually see the cartridge from that bullet flying through the air. It looks kind of like a small bronze line. The round white dots you see in the bottom of the picture are probably reflections from the casings and the gun.



In this picture, you can see poor Osama Bin Laden hanging upside down, ready to take a bullet. He is smiling, so he evidently doesn't think my wife can hit him from 30 feet. Fortunately, Mrs. Lime proved otherwise.

Leftover pictures

I decided to put together a post containing the pictures that I didn't fit into the other Hawaii posts. There are a few really good photos in this group, so I didn't want to leave them out. Hope you enjoy seeing them.


A view of the coast of Molokai from the guided helicopter tour. Molokai's largest town is 4,000 people. Molokai is know for having a leper colony where sick people were quarenteened. The leper colony still exists, but visiting there poses no threat of transmission.



Flying above the mountains of Molokai.....



One of the largest seacliffs in the world on Molokai (nearly 3000 feet tall) viewed from our helicopter.....



A rainbow as seen from our helicopter.......



Pictures of the largest continuously running waterfall in Hawaii on Molokai from our helicopter (2000 feet in length).......






The view from the inside of the Plantation course clubhouse.



The clubhouse entrance at the Kapalua-Plantation Course, home of the PGA Mercedes Championship......



The first tee at the Plantation Course.......



The 18th hole at the Plantation course.......



The view from the beach at our hotel (Lanai is the island in the distance)....



View from the balcony of our condo at Kapalua Resort



Lobby at the Grand Wailea Hotel.....



Mermaid at the Grand Wailea Hotel.......



Various sites at the Grand Wailea Resort.....






Various sunset photos (Lanai is the island in the distance).......

Our turn to jump off a cliff.....

We headed out with our tour guide to do some hiking to see waterfalls and jump off cliffs. We got really lucky in that we got a local guide rather than one of the Americanized hippies that the other groups got. Great guy. He was really knowledgable about many of the sites we saw. As Lawyer said, there wasn't a question that we posed that he didn't have an answer. He lived on the side of the volcano on the island on 5 acres of land. He has a pool on his land that is created by a waterfall coming out of a resevoir. The resevoir is used to raise shrimp for the local hotels. Fortunately, some of the prawns fall over the waterfall and live in the pool on his land. Every day, he and one of his sons go up to the pool at the base of the waterfall and catch enough prawns to feed the whole family. Also, he has a garden where he grows fruit (we got to eat some over lunch and it was wonderful). The guide's land is worth $11.5 million dollars. Unfortunately, he can never realize the value of the land because if he does, he still has to find a place to live on the island which will most likely be just as expensive. He prefers to just stay on the land where he can basically feed his family for free.

First, we stopped for a bathroom break at the local public beach since we were going on a drive on the road to Hana. There's not many places to stop on that road. Lawyer and I headed for the men's bathroom. As we turned the corner, we caught the distinct smell of someone smoking weed. Lo and behold, three guys were sitting there, playing guitars and smoking weed in the open at a public beach. One of the guys saw my shirt and said, "Hey, Missouri man!!!!" followed by a giggle only a pot smoker could make. Nice guy, but severly stoned and it appeared he wasn't a newbie. I later asked our guide who those guys were playing guitars and he said they were beach lifeguards. Note to self: Don't get caught in a rip tide at that beach. The lifeguards might be too stoned to rescue you.

We headed out on the drive on the road to Hana. For the uninitiated, the road to Hana is a very narrow, curvy road that snakes for 54 miles around the base of a 10,000 foot volcano on the island. There are a total of 618 curves and 54 one-lane bridges. It's definitely not for the faint of heart or those that get motion sickness.

We passed a small grove of trees that appeared to have rainbow colored tree bark. We were told that they were Australian Eucalyptus trees. Our guide told us that for many years, they had no idea how those trees even managed to get on the island. A few years back, they finally got their answer. A tourist from Austrailia who had relatives who used to live in Hana took a tour. He saw the trees and asked if they were Austrailian Eucalyptus trees. The guide said they were and that it was not known how they got on the island. The tourist responded that he knew. His grandfather had moved from Australia to Hawaii and took his possessions on the back of a truck on the road to Hana. At one point, his grandfather turned the corner too fast and a chair made of Australian Eucalyptus fell off the truck and down the hill. There was no way the chair could be retrieved, so they continued on to Hana. The catch is that even after these trees are turned into furniture, they continue to secrete an oil. If that oil gets into the ground, a new tree can be created. So a chair falling off a truck ended up introducing an entirely new species of tree to the island.

Speaking of species, we were told by our guide that 98.5% of all of the species of both plants and animals on the island are not native to Hawaii. Many were introduced as crops, brought over by birds and animals, or introduced to remove pests from the island. There are no snakes on the island. Our guide mentioned one guy who decided to pull a prank on his friend by dragging a rubber snake through an area in front of his friend. His friend freaked out and called the police. An all-out hunt for the snake was done by the local authorities. For weeks, they looked for the snake, all the while the prankster knew that there was no snake. At some point, he admitted that he pulled a prank and there was no snake on the island. The prankster is now serving 5 years in prison. They take that kind of stuff seriously.


We finally got to our hike location and set out on our first portion of the hike. We went to see a large waterfall (200 feet high) in a nearby valley. The waterfall was made famous by the movie 'Jurassic Park'. The valley you see in the picture is where the helicopter flies in and lands in the opening sequence of the movie. The picture was taken from one of the 16 camera locations that surrounded the valley during the filming.


Next, we hiked 500 feet down the mountain to a 40 foot waterfall. The water was very cool as it was a mountain stream in a rain forest. The waterfall also 4 jump points (5, 10, 25 and 48 feet). I took a jump off the 10 foot jump. Mrs. Lime climbed up to the 25 foot jump (where the lady was paralyzed in my previous story a few posts back). Thankfully, Mrs. Lime had the good sense to actually jump out away from the rocks and did just fine. Our guide climbed up to the 48 foot jump. You can see him standing on the rock at the top of the picture. He jumped from that point, which was very cool to see. It wasn't that big of a deal for him. He was originally hired for the guide job after he was seen by the owner of the business doing cliff jumps from 80 feet. He told us that the valley we were in was very dangerous when it rains. The water in the valley can rise over 15 feet in 2 minutes after a rainstorm. Thankfully, there was no rain the day we were there.



Finally, we went down to a 30 foot waterfall. Both Mrs. Lime and I went up and jumped from the point you see in the picture. It was a 32 foot jump. We made the jump and it was a lot of fun. We actually ended up doing it a second time. We got to eat lunch at the base of the waterfall and then made the hike back up the 500 foot hill to head back down the winding road back to town.

A very brave person saying what should be said......

Muslim’s Blunt Criticism of Islam Draws Threats
By JOHN M. BRODER

LOS ANGELES, March 10 — Three weeks ago, Dr. Wafa Sultan was a largely unknown Syrian-American psychiatrist living outside Los Angeles, nursing a deep anger and despair about her fellow Muslims.

Today, thanks to an unusually blunt and provocative interview on Al Jazeera television on Feb. 21, she is an international sensation, hailed as a fresh voice of reason by some, and by others as a heretic and infidel who deserves to die.

In the interview, which has been viewed on the Internet more than a million times and has reached the e-mail of hundreds of thousands around the world, Dr. Sultan bitterly criticized the Muslim clerics, holy warriors and political leaders who she believes have distorted the teachings of Muhammad and the Koran for 14 centuries.

She said the world’s Muslims, whom she compares unfavorably with the Jews, have descended into a vortex of self-pity and violence.

Dr. Sultan said the world was not witnessing a clash of religions or cultures, but a battle between modernity and barbarism, a battle that the forces of violent, reactionary Islam are destined to lose.

In response, clerics throughout the Muslim world have condemned her, and her telephone answering machine has filled with dark threats. But Islamic reformers have praised her for saying out loud, in Arabic and on the most widely seen television network in the Arab world, what few Muslims dare to say even in private.

“I believe our people are hostages to our own beliefs and teachings,” she said in an interview this week in her home in a Los Angeles suburb.

Dr. Sultan, who is 47, wears a prim sweater and skirt, with fleece-lined slippers and heavy stockings. Her eyes and hair are jet black and her modest manner belies her intense words: “Knowledge has released me from this backward thinking. Somebody has to help free the Muslim people from these wrong beliefs.”

Perhaps her most provocative words on Al Jazeera were those comparing how the Jews and Muslims have reacted to adversity. Speaking of the Holocaust, she said, “The Jews have come from the tragedy and forced the world to respect them, with their knowledge, not with their terror; with their work, not with their crying and yelling.”

She went on, “We have not seen a single Jew blow himself up in a German restaurant. We have not seen a single Jew destroy a church. We have not seen a single Jew protest by killing people.”

She concluded, “Only the Muslims defend their beliefs by burning down churches, killing people and destroying embassies. This path will not yield any results. The Muslims must ask themselves what they can do for humankind, before they demand that humankind respect them.”

Her views caught the ear of the American Jewish Congress, which has invited her to speak in May at a conference in Israel. “We have been discussing with her the importance of her message and trying to devise the right venue for her to address Jewish leaders,” said Neil B. Goldstein, executive director of the organization.

She is probably more welcome in Tel Aviv than she would be in Damascus. Shortly after the broadcast, clerics in Syria denounced her as an infidel. One said she had done Islam more damage than the Danish cartoons mocking the Prophet Muhammad, a wire service reported.
DR. SULTAN is “working on a book that — if it is published — it’s going to turn the Islamic world upside down.”

“I have reached the point that doesn’t allow any U-turn. I have no choice. I am questioning every single teaching of our holy book.”

The working title is, “The Escaped Prisoner: When God Is a Monster.”

Dr. Sultan grew up in a large traditional Muslim family in Banias, Syria, a small city on the Mediterranean about a two-hour drive north of Beirut. Her father was a grain trader and a devout Muslim, and she followed the faith’s strictures into adulthood.

But, she said, her life changed in 1979 when she was a medical student at the University of Aleppo, in northern Syria. At that time, the radical Muslim Brotherhood was using terrorism to try to undermine the government of President Hafez al-Assad. Gunmen of the Muslim Brotherhood burst into a classroom at the university and killed her professor as she watched, she said.

“They shot hundreds of bullets into him, shouting, ‘God is great!’ ” she said. “At that point, I lost my trust in their god and began to question all our teachings. It was the turning point of my life, and it has led me to this present point. I had to leave. I had to look for another god.”

She and her husband, who now goes by the Americanized name of David, laid plans to leave for the United States. Their visas finally came in 1989, and the Sultans and their two children (they have since had a third) settled in with friends in Cerritos, Calif., a prosperous bedroom community on the edge of Los Angeles County.

After a succession of jobs and struggles with language, Dr. Sultan has completed her American medical licensing, with the exception of a hospital residency program, which she hopes to do within a year. David operates an automotive-smog-check station. They bought a home in the Los Angeles area and put their children through local public schools. All are now American citizens.

BUT even as she settled into a comfortable middle-class American life, Dr. Sultan’s anger burned within. She took to writing, first for herself, then for an Islamic reform Web site called Annaqed (The Critic), run by a Syrian expatriate in Phoenix.

An angry essay on that site by Dr. Sultan about the Muslim Brotherhood caught the attention of Al Jazeera, which invited her to debate an Algerian cleric on the air last July.

In the debate, she questioned the religious teachings that prompt young people to commit suicide in the name of God. “Why does a young Muslim man, in the prime of life, with a full life ahead, go and blow himself up?” she asked. “In our countries, religion is the sole source of education and is the only spring from which that terrorist drank until his thirst was quenched.”

Her remarks set off debates around the globe and her name began appearing in Arabic newspapers and Web sites. But her fame grew exponentially when she appeared on Al Jazeera again on Feb. 21, an appearance that was translated and widely distributed by the Middle East Media Research Institute, known as Memri.

Memri said the clip of her February appearance had been viewed more than a million times.
“The clash we are witnessing around the world is not a clash of religions or a clash of civilizations,” Dr. Sultan said. “It is a clash between two opposites, between two eras. It is a clash between a mentality that belongs to the Middle Ages and another mentality that belongs to the 21st century. It is a clash between civilization and backwardness, between the civilized and the primitive, between barbarity and rationality.”

She said she no longer practiced Islam. “I am a secular human being,” she said.

The other guest on the program, identified as an Egyptian professor of religious studies, Dr. Ibrahim al-Khouli, asked, “Are you a heretic?” He then said there was no point in rebuking or debating her, because she had blasphemed against Islam, the Prophet Muhammad and the Koran.

Dr. Sultan said she took those words as a formal fatwa, a religious condemnation. Since then, she said, she has received numerous death threats on her answering machine and by e-mail.
One message said: “Oh, you are still alive? Wait and see.” She received an e-mail message the other day, in Arabic, that said, “If someone were to kill you, it would be me.”

Dr. Sultan said her mother, who still lives in Syria, is afraid to contact her directly, speaking only through a sister who lives in Qatar. She said she worried more about the safety of family members here and in Syria than she did for her own.

“I have no fear,” she said. “I believe in my message. It is like a million-mile journey, and I believe I have walked the first and hardest 10 miles.”

Nursery rhyme time........

So, we headed out for a big night at the Japanese steakhouse known as Teppan Yaki Dan's Steakhouse. Nice, clean place that wasn't too crowded.

The waiter came around and asked everyone what they wanted to drink. All 4 of the younger generation at the table took the tropical drinks ranging from Chi Chi to Lava Flow (half Pina Colada-half strawberry daquiri). Grandma got her usual.........Manhattan "up" with lots of cherries. I emphasize "up" so you note that this drink had no ice in it. The significance will be obvious later. I still am not sure how a person of Grandma's age (just past 29, of course) manages to put down even one Manhattan. Papa (also know as father-in-law) gets his usual wine that is drier than the Sahara desert. My mother-in-law (we'll call her M1 for simplicity) orders a virgin margarita on the rocks with salt.

After a few minutes, the drinks come back. All is well except for M1's drink. Somehow, a margarita came out as an orange drink with red crystals around the rim. M1 is pretty sure this isn't a margarita. Mrs. Lime takes a sip and verifies that it isn't even close to a margarita. The waiter takes it back after M1 repeats what she wants. 5 minutes later, same drink comes out. So it's obvious, we have one of two issues here. Either the waiter's english is under par or the bartender doesn't have a clue what he's doing (not too likely in a tourist place like Hawaii). So, M1 finally writes down the name of the drink and the contents of the drink on a bar napkin. 5 minutes later, we have the proper drink so evidenly the english assumption was probably correct.

Thankfully, the rest of the night went well. The chef was excellent. He engaged in a lot of small talk and joked with the group. Everything was cooked nicely and was quite tasty. We even had pineapple cooked on the grill (great stuff). At the end of the meal, one thing became quite obvious. The Manhattans (Grandma J. had ordered two of them "up") had taken their toll. Grandma J. was off her rocker. She had a flower (which came with the drinks) above her ear and was ready to roll. Evidently two Manhattans "up" is more like 3 or 4 on the rocks, which is how she usually drinks them.

Now, let me be the first to say that there is nothing funnier then when Grandma J. has one too many in Hawaii. First, she smiles a lot (always a good thing). Second, she tells military stories about her husband who she was married to for over 50 years. They met in an officer's club in California (Grandma was the underage girl looking for a cute serviceman). Grandpa informed her when they first met that he wanted to marry her. A few months later, they did exactly that. Ah, puppy love. Finally, Grandma loves to start singing random songs related to Hawaii. I don't have a list of the songs that were sung that evening, but if there's a Hawaii song to be sung, Grandma appears to know it.

So Lawyer decided that on the way home, everyone should sing "Pop Goes the Weasel". Seems entertaining enough. We eventually get into the car and Lawyer starts up the song. It begins as such....

Everybody:
All around the cobbler's bench
The monkey chased the weasel
That's the way the monkey goes.........

Suddenly, from the mouth of Grandma comes a "POP!!!!!!" so loud, it would cause you to jump in your seat.

Everybody:
goes the weasel!

Yes, Grandma was fully into this sing-along along with her "up" Manhattans. Everyone in the car was rolling with laughter. It was honestly one of the funniest moments of the entire trip. Lawyer struck up the band again..........

Everybody:
All around the cobbler's bench
The monkey chased the weasel
That's the way the monkey goes.........

Grandma:
POP!!!!!!!! (followed by laughter by everyone)

Everybody:
goes the weasel!

This went on most of the way home. I'm not sure why it was so entertaining, but it was exactly that. Great time was had by all. Grandma is one of the best. I think we'll keep her.

Whales.........

A few cool things about whales to wet your appetite to go whale watching.

1. The muscle on the whale that lifts their tail fin is the strongest muscle on the face of this planet. I like that one. Thanks go to Grandma J. for that tidbit.

2. There is nothing that makes you go 'Oooooooo' or 'Ahhhhhhh' more quickly than seeing a whale that weighs hundreds of tons shoot out of the water vertically only to come crashing back down into the water with an extremely large splash. I have no clue what they are doing, but it looks really cool.

3. A close second to #2 is seeing a tail fin come out of the water and point upright as the whale dives back into the ocean. Not as dramatic as the splash when they jump, but still an unbelievable sight.

4. It is illegal for boats to get any closer than 100 yards from a whale. This is done to make sure that a whale doesn't surface under a boat and injure itself or the people on the boat.

5. Neatest thing you'll ever do is go snorkeling in an area where whales are located. You'll probably never see a whale while snorkeling. Snorkeling is done in waters that are generally too shallow for whales. But, if you put your head underwater and float completely still to avoid extra noise, you will be able to hear whales communicating with one another. In Maui, during whale season, that communication sounds like a 100-piece orchestra of squeaky doors. It's one of those things that you have to do, just to experience it. After putting your head below the water and hearing all the whales, you realize just how many whales are in the water around the island.

Getting drilled........

So, today I headed off to the dentist for a routine cleanup. What in the world makes a person subject themselves voluntarily to this type of punishment?

First, since I'm a new patient, I get the fortunate pleasure of filling out every single form in the book. The form titles ranged from 'Patient Information' to 'How good is your sex life?' and everything in between. I twice felt personally violated by some of the questions, but maybe I'm just a bit sensitive about the whole thing.

Then, I am finally called in by an assistant. She is sure to say her name (which of course I've already forgotten) and that she will be doing the cleaning of my teeth. So I now have the name (which I forgot) of the person that will be dishing out the punishment for the day. First, I get the standard x-rays taken to make sure my teeth aren't rotting from the inside out. After that, something new and totally foreign to me.....they have a special pen-size camera that they stick in my mouth to take digital pictures for future reference and comparison. Worse yet, they have a monitor mounted to the ceiling that the patient can watch to see the actual photos as they are taken. I thought it was neat enough.....until the camera went into my mouth. Yow! Is that what the inside of my mouth looks like? I hope to pass on the photos next time. It's definitely nothing you want to frame.

Next, the metal tools come out. The circular mirror that is supposed to allow the dentist to see the underside of your teeth, but is mostly used to hold your tongue out of the way. There is some form of reaction that it seems your tongue is in a constant, involuntary fight to push the mirror aside despite the fact that you're trying to keep your tongue out of the way. Strange stuff.

Next comes the metal pick. That thing is simply hell on earth in two separate forms. First, it's used to scrape off the plaque. My assistant with the very forgetful name had a special talent where she would yank my tooth back and forth as she scraped. All my teeth are currently still sore now, 11 hours after the appointment. I wish I could remember the assistant's name so I could curse it. Secondly, she says she will be using the pick to measure the 'pockets' in my gums. Evidently that's done by shoving the pick between my gums and the base of my teeth to see how far down it would go. She informs me that 3 millimeters is standard. She starts through the teeth and mentions that there are a few teeth that have 5 millimeter 'pockets'. I want to mention to her that the reason there's a 5 millimeter pocket next to that tooth is because she's shoving the pick into my gums with a large amount of force.

Finally, the dentist, who has been through years of schooling, comes in for the final inspection. It's somewhat like a drill sargeant inspecting the bunk of a soldier. The assistant does all the work and the dentist simply comes in, says hi, scratches a couple of teeth for good measure and then sends you out with a handshake. I suppose they do some good things in some of the larger procedures, but this must be their 'easy as pie' part of the day. I suppose they've earned it.

I head back out to make the co-pay ($28 for all this abuse) and get a bag with a new toothbrush and some floss. The outside of the bag has a cartoon drawing of a smiling tooth. On the bag, it says, "Mr. McTooth says to keep your teeth clean!".

Mr. McTooth, if it means I can end up avoiding this torture in the near future, you can be sure I'll be brushing my teeth 5 times daily.

A story that deserves its own blog entry.......

On the day before we headed back to the mainland, we decided to head off on a hiking adventure to go see a few waterfalls, do some swimming and jump off a few cliffs. As we began our ride to the hiking site, Lawyer decided that he would ask the tour guide what he thought was the craziest experience that he ever had on a hike. Little did we know which story our guide would chose.

A couple of years back, our guide took a husband and his wife on a hike. The hike takes the group to a couple of waterfalls, where you can jump into the water pools from various rock ledges. At some point, they reached a waterfall where you can jump from a 25 foot ledge. The wife climbed up to the point where the man in the green shorts is standing in the photo below.



When the wife got to that point, she looked down and realized how high the ledge actually was. She began to get a bit worried about the height and whether she could do it. Meanwhile, the husband was standing at the opposite end of the pool, videotaping the wife. The husband began to yell at her to jump and asking her why she was so scared. He began to badger her to jump. At one point, the wife evidently started yelling back and cursing at her husband, telling him to get his tail up there if it was no big deal. Finally, after a few minutes of the husband yelling at his wife to hurry up and jump, she finally did so. Only one problem.......she didn't jump. She simply stepped off the ledge after the guide had specifically instructed her to jump out when she finally decided to go.

The lady proceeded to slide and bounce down the rock wall 25 feet into the water below. The husband began to laugh, amused by the fact that his wife didn't jump correctly. Immediately, the guides knew something went terribly wrong. Blood was filling the pool and the lady was not surfacing. The guides blew their emergency whistles to let other guides in the immediate vicinity know that there was a problem so they could get help as quick as possible. Two of the guides went down into the pool and brought the lady to the surface. She had lost consciousness. Also, the fall down the rock wall had sliced her back completely open from her neck to the base of her back. Bones and muscle tissue were clearly visible. She was bleeding badly.

The guides took her to the highway (about a quarter mile hike) where she was picked up and taken to a hospital. She eventually was treated for her injuries and survived, but she was paralyzed from the waist down because of a broken back. The wife blamed her husband for her injuries. She actually filed for divorce. When it came time for the divorce hearings, the lawyers actually flew two of the guides from Maui to Chicago to be witness at the hearings. The lawyers actually played the video that the husband had took of the incident. The guides detailed what was happening to the court, from the verbal exchanges to the jump to the husband's reaction and finally the rescue, all caught on tape. Needless to say, the husband didn't fare well in the divorce proceedings.

The moral of this story? Never allow a lawyer to ask a stupid question like "What's the craziest thing you've every seen on an outing?" right before you head out on that same outing.

Finally sold the house......

We went out Friday night to celebrate the sale of our home. There were a couple of issues that threatened the close within the last week or so, but when push came to shove, we got it done. We're glad to have the house sold. We've already started looking around to see where we might live once we get back to KC.

Also, we received good news that my sister and her husband also appear to have a contract offer on their townhouse. The closing date is currently set for April 1st. Our wedding anniversary is April 1st. Hopefully it ends up being a memorable date for them as well.

Also, for those that may have missed it, I accidentally posted my first Hawaii post under the MU basketball post. I'm still learning some of the blogging software. Sorry about the screw-up.

Oh, well. There's always next year.......

I'm sure some of you might remember the pride that I had in my Missouri Tigers after a big win against their arch rivals in January. Since that point in time, they managed to win 2 games and lose 11 games over the rest of the season. In addition, their coach was fired and their AD is currently hated by most of the donors and curators at MU. Obviously disheartening.

So, I'm left to hope for the future. I hope that we get a good coach that can maximize our players' potential. I hope that the AD moves on to a new job in the near future (there are rumors that he is considering just that). And most of all, I hope that we get a roster full of kids that play for the name on the front of the jersey and not on the back of the jersey. Thankfully, we have until October to put the team back together. I'm hoping for the best.

In case you were wondering, the above picture is the Mizzou basketball team from 1907, one of the very early years of basketball at Mizzou.

Complexities of kite flying.........

First, let me get the easy part of the trip out of the way. First two days........rain and lots of eating. That about sums up what we did for the first two days. While it wasn't anything terribly exciting, it's always more fun to eat and watch rain storms in Hawaii than other places. So I suppose we should count our blessings.

On the third day (this is beginning to sound like the book of Genesis), we went over to a beach in a nearby town. There are lots of the tourist-type shops in an open-air mall next to the beach. We had a family friend along on the trip who I'll call Lawyer (It's kind of like calling your new puppy 'Dog'). Lawyer decides that with the wind gusting pretty heavily, today would be an excellent day for kite flying. Thankfully, we found a toy store in the mall that had a large kite supply (evidently, Lawyer is not the first one to consider flying kites at the beach). After 10 minutes of kite selection, Lawyer picks out a shark kite (the ironic nature of a lawyer picking out a shark kite is not lost on me) and Mrs. Lime picks up a kite with a long rainbow tail and a frog on it (I'm guessing it was selected based on its cuteness factor).

We head out to the beach to see just how far our kite-flying skills have eroded over the past 10-15 years. First, the kites require minimal assembly. Lawyer's shark kite required a few pieces to be assembled. It took a few minutes, but the shark finally took form. Meanwhile, Mrs. Lime only needed to attach the string to the kite. She had tied several knots to make sure it was secure. She asked me if that was enough knots. I went ahead and added roughly 25,000 additional square knots to make sure it didn't come undone (I wasn't a Boy Scout, so the art of fancy knot tieing is not one of my strong points).

We headed down to the beach to see if these contraptions actually could fly. Mrs. Lime got off to a good early start. After a couple of bad attempts where the wind kept dying out, she caught a solid wind and kept her kite aloft for 10-15 minutes. The only main issue with the frog kite was that it was prone to wild dives at any given moment. Eventually, one of those wild dives ended up with the frog kite taking a head-first dive right into the ocean. Thankfully, there were plenty of kids swimming in the ocean that saw the dive and retrieved the kite for Mrs. Lime.



Lawyer was not having much luck with the shark. It appeared that the shark was a bit more stable than the frog (not many dives), but it needed more air to keep it aloft. After struggling with the kite for awhile (Lawyer was blaming part of his problems on the sub-par launching efforts of Mrs. Lime's sister), he finally got the kite airborne and had a long flight of 20 minutes or so. The sense of accomplishment was quite evident on Lawyer's face. If there's one thing I know from the lawyers that I've met, they don't like to fail in any way, shape, or form. The ride home would have been unbearable had that shark not taken flight.

After Mrs. Lime's long flight, I took a shot at piloting the flying frog. I had a few early failures. One time, the kite took a dive into the ocean. The kite string took a similar fall to the beach, landing right in front of the feet of a lady passing by on the beach. Rather than simply stepping over the string and continuing on, she shot me a glare like I had done something wrong. I guess she assumed that I intentionally piloted my kite head-first into the ocean in an attempt to trip here. I have compiled a list of things that were going through her head when she shot me that glare:

--"I wouldn't let my 12 year old kid fly a kite on the beach so why are you doing it?"

--"My ex-husband had the same goofy look you have when I got pissed off. Now I'm living in his house."

--"If you drop that kite string in front of me again, I'll wrap it around your neck..........three times."

--"You've officially reminded me why I'll never get married. Men are so immature."

--"Why that woman married you, I'll never know."

After I finished reading her mind, I quickly smiled and said 'sorry about that'. She moved on with a grumble and I went back to getting the kite airborne again. Unfortunately, it appeared that she put some sort of curse on my kite, as I wasn't able to get a good flight going over the final 45 minutes that we were at the beack. Curses of grumpy women are extremely hard to break evidently. After some sun and pictures, we headed back to our room.

My first experience with lacrosse......

I headed out to Homewood Field, home of the Johns Hopkins Bluejays, to see my first lacrosse game. I honestly had no idea what to expect. The Lacrosse Hall of Fame is right next to Homewood Field. I had seen it on TV before, but didn't have a real feel for how the game is played. Basically, each player has a stick with a net on the end of it. Offensive players have short sticks, while the defenders have much longer sticks. The goalie has a net about a foot in circumference to stop the shots on goal. All players wear a full helmet with face shield, shoulder pads and arm guards. A lot of speed, agility and strength is required for the game.

The stadium is similar to a high school football stadium. Seating capacity is around 7,500, but they can fit nearly 10,000 in there for some games. All bleacher seats. It cost me $7 to get in. Programs were $3 and a bag of peanuts was $2. Not a bad price for all that stuff. I went in to get a look at the stadium. First thing I noticed was the turf. They have the FieldTurf, which is artificial turf that is made to react like real grass. First time I've seen it up close. Pretty cool stuff.

I quickly figured out that this was not a game for the faint of heart. Evidently, whacking at each others sticks and checking guys is allowed in this game. VERY rough. I saw three guys totally flattened. Two didn't get back up. Every time a hit was put on someone, the whole crowd would either moan in pain or cheer in delight. It was brutal. I was really surprised that more people didn't get hurt.

The first half was a relatively slow half. The Retrievers of UMBC lead the Johns Hopkins Bluejays 3-2 at halftime. UMBC got called for a delay one time (passing the ball around the perimeter without making any offensive moves or shots towards the goal.

The second half started like the first half. With one minute left in the third quarter, UMBC was ahead 5-3. Then, 'it' occurred. UMBC's goalie had the ball and was on the left side of his end. He went to pass the ball and one of the Hopkins attackers absolutely leveled the goalkeeper. The ref didn't throw a flag, the goalkeeper was irritated and the UMBC crowd was going bananas.

Not more than 20 seconds after that, the Hopkins goalie had the ball to the left of his goal. WHAM! With no regard for the goalie's well-being, a UMBC player absolutely nailed the Hopkins goalie. A penalty was called (the retaliatory nature of the hit was obvious). The UMBC fans were upset because they didn't get a penalty earlier.

After that, chaos ensued. Guys were getting knocked to the ground left and right. Cheap shots were being thrown all over the field. Over the next 5 minutes, Hopkins scored 6 goals to take an 8-5 lead. Then, just when it seemed like Hopkins was taking control, UMBC scored 2 quick goals in 2 minutes to cut the lead to 8-7. After the UMBC comeback, Hopkins took over the game with 4 goals in 5 minutes. They won 12-7. Hopkins had 40 shots and UMB had 27.

I had a great time and can't wait to go to another game. The game is almost like a mix between basketball and hockey. Lots of zone and man-to-man defenses like basketball with movement behind and around the goal and lots of hitting like hockey. Really fun to watch. I'd suggest that anyone who has the chance to see a high-level lacrosse game definitely take the opportunity to do so.