Tequila and Tennessee.....

I've been asked to post one of my best poker stories by more than one person, so I've decided to go ahead and throw it up on the blog today. This occurred long before the blog existed, but it's worthy enough that it should definitely be put up.

During the day on Friday, I was playing poker at the Excalibur poker room. I was seated at a table with the usual wide variety of people that you often see in Vegas. Late in the poker session, a black guy sat down at the opposite end of the table with his girlfriend sitting down right behind him. He was about 6'2", 270 lbs and wore sunglasses at the table. As soon as the first cocktail waitress came around, this guy ordered a double shot of Cuervo. I always give players names to make it easier for me to remember how they play. I started calling him Tequila at the table and he actually liked the new nickname. The nickname seemed to stick a bit more after I saw that he would order a double shot of tequila every 45 minutes to an hour.

Tequila and I actually got along quite well for the 2 hours or so that we played at the table. We just made small talk at the table, cracking a joke here or there. (Note: You always want to do that at a live poker game. If the players are having fun, they're more likely to put more money in the pot.) Tequila and I did get involved in one hand against each other. Tequila raised before the flop and I reraised after I saw that I was holding AA. Tequila just called and the flop was King, 7, 2. He bet and I raised. He just called. The 4th card was a 7. Tequila checked and I bet. He called again. The final card was a 3. Tequila bet and I raised. Tequila gave me a disgusted look and said he shouldn't call this. After a minute or so, he said he didn't believe me and called. I flipped over my Aces and he flipped over Ace/King. He laughed and said, "Well at least I know now!".

I headed back to hang out with everyone else for the night. The next afternoon, I told Mrs. Lime that she should head down with me to the poker room and play some cards. She decided to come along. We were able to sit at the same table together. Had a group of pretty nice people at the table who were very social. We had one player at the table who had been drinking for some time and was playing very aggressive. Whenever a player is playing all kinds of hands like this guy, your best bet is to wait for some good cards and then take advantage of his bad play. Most people at the table were doing exactly that except for the occasional lucky break that he would get. Somehow, the whole table started calling him Tennessee, though we later found out that he was actually from Kentucky and was insulted by the Tennessee nickname (too many hillbilly fights with each other I guess).

After about an hour at the table, a familiar face sat down at the table. Tequila was back! I said hi and he smiled and said hello. His girlfriend was not in tow this time. But he did sit down and order a double shot of tequila before a hand was even dealt to him. He kept ordering those drinks like clockwork throughout the whole game. Everyone was getting along fine EXCEPT Tennesse and Tequila. Tequila didn't like Tennessee stealing some pots and Tennessee didn't like Tequila telling him that he was doing something wrong by stealing those pots. They exchanged barbs here and there throughout the next couple of hours. You could tell that Tequila was getting frustrated and was losing chips. He actually bought back in twice while we were at the table, so he was down quite a bit. Meanwhile, Tennessee just kept talking and stacking chips, mostly at Tequila's expense.

At some point, there was a hand where Tequila had some good cards and kept betting. Tennessee kept calling just to see if he could beat Tequila. As we later found out when they showed their cards, Tennessee was way behind in the hand with one card to come and there were only two cards in the deck that could come out that would make him the winner. Well, of course, one of those two cards was the final card and when the cards flipped over and Tequila realized what had happened, he was not pleased. Tequila immediately snapped that Tennessee was a 'lucky SOB'. Tennessee just laughed at Tequila, only irritating him more.

The liquor that these two had consumed finally boiled over. Tequila said that he was 'nothing but a punk for laughing at him'. Then came one of the funniest and strangest moments I have ever seen in a poker game. Evidently the fact that Tequila had called Tennessee a 'punk' somehow enraged Tennessee. Out of nowhere, Tennesse screamed, "Tequila, my forefathers owned your forefathers!".

Tennessee was, of course, relating the fact that his forefathers were slaveowners and that Tequila's forefathers were slaves. I have no clue why he shouted this other than he's a redneck from Kentucky who had drank far too much and had no idea what he was doing. Tequila immediately stood up, all 6'2" and 270 lbs., and said a few choice words about Tennessee's mother and said he was going to beat him up (obviously, he used different, more colorful words, but I'll try to keep the blog relatively clean). Tennessee fired back a couple of colorful phrases and the dealer was threatening to call the floor manager. As this was going on, I was trying to be the diplomat due to my friendship with Tequila by repeating, "Tequila, be the bigger man.", over and over again.

Eventually, cooler heads prevailed and the table began to play cards again. However, what was once a very social table was suddenly very quiet. I think everybody was generally in shock. We came within an eyelash of seeing a small redneck from Kentucky get body-slammed through a poker table in Las Vegas. Honestly, that's probably the only thing that would have made this story better. But you don't get to choose how Vegas stories end.......