Sick baby + naptime = comedy gold

I'm not sure I need to say anything to get you ready for this video. No words are needed.......

Noisy Kali

Kali 0.11 picture blowout..........

A mixture of 10 and 11 month pictures in this blowout. First, the 10 month old pictures........

Kali in her high chair with Nova 7.10 waiting for the first dropped scrap of food.....



Opening up her first X-mas present.........



Hanging out with Grandma in her X-mas outfit.......



Nova teaches Kali how to watch for squirrels in the backyard........





Somebody learned how to use a tippie cup!!!!!!





Hanging out with Great Grandma........



On to month 11. Relaxing right before a nap........





Play time on the floor........





Chasing down the crazy photographer who keeps flashing in my eyes..........









Just how much fun can eating an orange be?

Boogie time!!!!!!!!

Kali 0.11 loves the acknowledgement that people notice what she's doing. This is roughly the process that we see on a daily basis......

1. Kali grabs object X.

2. Kali waves object X in the air or pushes the buttons on object X.

3. Kali looks to Mommy and Daddy to confirm that they have noticed her amazing achievement.

4. Mommy and/or Daddy waive or smile back at Kali to let her know that we did see the modern miracle that she just performed.

5. Kali smiles or bobs her head, knowing that everyone noticed.

6. Kali sets down object X and moves to object Y.

7. Go to step 1.

And so it continues throughout play time until she eventually runs out of things to play with and requires further stimulation in the form of a parent or a new play-toy.

Last night, Kali 0.11 took her standing exploits to a whole new level. She was standing next to my leg, holding on to the coffee table. Suddenly, a song that Kali approved of came on the TV. Nothing could control her as she took her hands off the table and began to wiggle back and forth while clapping her hands. After about 10-15 seconds of wiggling, she was able to regain control of herself and grabbed back onto the table.

After seeing that take place, I have already begun a "Kali Dancing Class Scholarship" to cover the cost of dancing lessons for this blooming dancing queen. She can dance all she wants, but I will state for the record that ballet is off-limits. I've seen some messed up feet on some ballet dancers. As Mrs. Lime can attest, I'm not big on feet in general. Messed-up feet are even worse. She's likely going to be too tall to be in ballet anyway, so I probably don't have anything to worry about in that regard.

Standing and falling.........

I'm learning how to fall down. Kali 0.11 is learning how to stand up.

I played in my rec league basketball game last night. As Mrs. Lime noted, I spend a lot of time on the floor during the game. The other team was pretty rough and tumble. They had one player who was doing a lot of pushing and shoving, which seemed to put the officials on edge. As a result, we were getting some pretty weak foul calls because the officials were trying to avoid a physical game.

Kali 0.11 finally went to her first 'daddy' basketball game (she's gone to a couple of Mizzou games already). Much like on TV, she was entranced with all of the action on the court. People running around and balls flying everywhere. In addition, her friends Macy and Kaylin were at the game, so they provided plenty of entertainment when the basketball game was boring. Kali spent time reading books and watching the girls. Kali's starting to get to the point where I think she really wants to start playing with them, but she's not able to walk without holding on to something quite yet. She does now stand on her own, though I'm pretty sure she doesn't realize that she's not holding on to anything. She'll likely be doing it quite a bit more and maybe even taking a first step by the time her birthday rolls around. With a baby around, there's never a dull moment.

I'm sorry. What did you just say?????

I met with my vice-president yesterday (he flew in from our Denver headquarters) to lay out my goals for the upcoming year. The VP would essentially be my manager's boss (my manager's name is Liz). I had several goals laid out that involved moving towards a manager/project manager role in the near future.

Me: How's it going?

VP: Great! Good to see you. How's Mrs. Lime and the baby?

Me: Doing well. Never a dull moment.

VP: Oh, I definitely remember those days. Well, I've read over your goals for this year and we're happy to pay for the project management training/test that you'd like to take. We basically have a policy where you pay for the test and then we reimburse you fully once you pass the test. We do it that way to make sure that people take it seriously and don't just waste the company's money. Make sense?

Me: Sure. Makes perfect sense to me. I'm certainly still very interested in taking the test and getting the certification.

VP: Great. I didn't think that would be an issue for you. You should do fine.

Me: Hopefully so.

VP: On to other issues. I know you're pushing forward and are a very enthusiastic employee. You're well-liked by your collegues and by the government group that we work with.

Me: Always happy to hear that.

VP: Absolutely. With that said, Liz would like to take on a strict testing role and remove herself from the management of the group. She indicated to me that you would easily be the best candidate to manage this team once she steps down.

Me: ***stunned silence***

VP: Is that a role you'd be interested in taking? Would you like our group here in K.C.

Me: ***still stunned*** Absolutely. I'd love the opportunity.

VP: Excellent. I really think you've done well moving into this group. You'll be reporting directly to me and giving me periodic updates on the group's work. You'll be responsible for all hiring in this group and will be the middle man if any work conflicts arise in the group with our clients. You'll also receive appropriate compensation for your change in job status once the full transition is complete in a couple of months.

Me: ***stunned***

VP: Any questions? You seem a bit surprised.

Me: (smile) Yeah, you could say that.

VP: I know I'm dropping this on you suddenly, but I think you'll do just fine. This should also set you up to move to other team management positions in the company if you ever decide that your current work is boring to you. We can always mix it up and get you some experience in other groups. The best way to learn how to do this stuff is to jump right in. You've got all the skills that are needed. I'm going to let you get your hands dirty and learn things the old-fashioned way.

Me: I'm certainly ready to do that. Thanks for the opportunity.

VP: Not a problem. You've earned it.

So, I've just been dumped into an all-new role. I can now officially add "Information Technology Management" to my resume. It's a big step from a resume perspective in that I haven't had management experience when interviewing for past job opportunities. Now, when they ask me about experience, I'll have actual management experience, which is a huge help in landing bigger management jobs down the road should I choose to pursue that. The nice thing about this position is that I'll be in a team management role, but I won't have to worry about an increase in working hours. I'll still just work my 40 hour week because I'm a contractor and the government refuses to pay overtime wages. It's really difficult to beat that.

Should be interesting to say the least.

Another weekend with plenty to do..............

VERY busy weekend, though it seems like every weekend brings tons of things to do with little downtime anymore.

Friday night, we hosted the monthly poker tournament. I went for my second straight win and came up literally one card away from winning. I ended up finishing in the runner-up spot. I was able to apply some of my new-found knowledge concerning non-verbal tells to help myself in a couple of spots. In the end, I played well and just got a bit unlucky. That's the way poker goes sometimes.

Saturday, I spend most of the day doing work around the house and then headed down to Columbia for the MU/KU game. It was probably one of the worst MU/KU matchups I've ever watched. It was exciting in that the game was close the whole way, but it was rather sloppy play by both teams. I'm not sure that either team really deserved to win, but KU ended up with more points in the end.

Sunday, I took it easy in the afternoon and then played basketball Sunday night. I actually played pretty well and scored a few points in the second half. Our team suffers from a lack of passing right now. We've got a few guys that dribble too much or take quick shots. In the end, it's a rec league, so I don't think that it's too appropriate to do much coaching or telling people to change how they play. We're not good enough to win the league either way, so we're better off just getting some exercise and having a good time.

Monday, I spent most of the day working on things around the house. I hung a TV, worked on some internet issues, and installed some garage mats to control water drainage. By the end of the day, I was ready to crash. Not much of a holiday for me, but I did get quite a few things done. Only a 4 day workweek in front of me, so next weekend should be here relatively soon.

More surprises from Kali 0.11........

More new tricks from Kali 0.11. We were up in her room and I had her on the floor. There were several refill rings for her Diaper Genie scattered around the floor. She had taken them out of the basket that they were in and tossed them around. I sat the basket to her right with the rings on her left. I pointed to the ring and then I pointed to the basket and told her to put the ring in the basket. Without hesistation, she did exactly as I asked. I pointed to the next ring and she did the same thing over and over until all 6 rings were in the basket. She was very proud of herself.

Later in the evening, Mrs. Lime was cleaning up a travel coffee mug. After she was done cleaning it, she handed the lid to Kali and told Kali to put the lid on the mug while pointing to it. Once again, she did exactly as Mrs. Lime had asked without hesitation.

Stay tuned. Tomorrow, I'll be reporting how Kali vacuumed the entire house and drove the car to Target all on her own.

The mountain climber who can't repel back down........

Kali 0.11 adds a new trick to her ever-growing list of achievements. Yesterday, Mrs. Lime took Kali over to the bottom of the stairs. Kali without hesistation proceeded to climb 5 stairs with relative ease. Mrs. Lime tried to teach her how to back down the stairs at that point, but Kali got scared, so that lesson will have to come another day. If they work on it regularly, I'm sure Kali will tackle that problem as well. She's learning new things every day. It's exciting and exhausting all at once. Such is the role of a parent.

"You're not the one in trouble............"

My boss's boss called a meeting this morning to discuss some testing issues that caused her some concern. My lead tester on the project had evidently forgot to push through some documents, resulting in a bit of a testing snafu which could jeopardize the release of a new system. Given that I did most of the testing on the project since this testing lead is know for being somewhat lazy, I was prepared to head into the meeting with guns blazing to defend myself from any accusations of improper testing by my superior.

Imagine my surprise, when I showed up to the meeting and the manager proceeded to tell me that it wasn't my fault and that the testing lead didn't do her job. So I was off the hook other than having to detail to the boss exactly why everything went wrong. Thankfully, I didn't have to do it in front of my testing lead, so she won't know that our manager forced me to spill the beans to her. As a result, I'm off the hook and someone else is in a bit of trouble to say the least. Better her than me, I suppose.

The Brick Layers' dynasty has begun..........

My newly-formed basketball team (The Brick Layers) played their first game last night. We actually played surprisingly well for a team full of out-of-shape 30+ year old men. We did have a few guys of college age, so we weren't all out of shape. I believe we lost by around 5 points, though we actually held a lead with a couple of minutes left. We played pretty good defense (2-3 zone) that actually kept the younger opponents in-check. Our main problem was that we missed too many wide open shots. That's to be expected in the first couple of games.

We also came out of the game without any real injuries. One of the guys twisted his ankle a bit, but he kept on playing, so I don't think it's anything terrible. I doubt it will feel too good today, but it should heal up pretty quickly. I'm not sure I even scored at all, but I had a lot of fun. It was nice to get out and play some basketball.

A whole new (non-verbal) world..........

I recently finished a book entitled "Read 'Em and Reap!" by Joe Navarro. It's a book written by a retired FBI officer. In the book, he discussed the non-verbal indications that we make every day that show how we fee about a situation. The book is written to help poker players easily read their opponent's "tells" that usually give away the strength/weakness of a player's hand. It's a great book and I'd recommend it to even non-poker players.

The most interesting part of the book is that it applies to all kinds of things on a daily basis. The author states that you should work on your observation skills of others on a daily basis to refine your 'people reading' skills. I actually did exactly that in a meeting that I attended this morning.

I noticed several non-verbal indicators from some people in the meeting. At one point, I watched the manager listening to a programmer's explanation of a situation. I made a great read and noticed a slight change in the eyebrows of the manager that gave away that she was obviously quite dissatisfied with what she was hearing. She was trying to cover it up, but it was easy to see if you were looking for the indicator.

Later on, another programmer was describing how part of the system worked. The programmer gave off multiple indicators that he was not totally sure that the program changes he made would work as designed. They included slumping in the chair, rubbing his legs/feet together, and touching his hand to his face in a certain manner. All of these 'tells' indicated a major lack of confidence by this programmer. My read on his mannerisms proved correct this afternoon. We received his software to test and it's a disaster. He knew that the software wasn't up to snuff, but wasn't willing to tell the manager to her face in the meeting this morning.

My point in all this is that a simple reading of this book has opened up a whole new world to me as far as understanding how people feel, even when they won't tell you. It's amazing that so many people give off so much information without saying a word. It's even more amazing that more people don't learn how to read this valuable information in all facets of life to understand exactly what people are telling you, without ever saying a word.

'I had a craving'.........

One of my main jobs in regards to parenting right now is to put Kali 0.11 to sleep. I'm not sure what it is, but Mrs. Lime just can't get her to cooperate nearly as well as I can. So, I've been the person to put her to sleep each night. It's not a bad gig as I get to just hold Kali for a few minutes in the dark, which is a good time to relax and bond with the baby.

Two nights ago, I was rocking Kali to put her to sleep. After a couple of minutes, I heard a muted spinning sound down in the kitchen. Much to my chagrin, I watched Kali go from having her eyes closed to having them wide open. She was wondering what in the world that sound was as well.

After a few moments, Kali closed her eyes only to hear the same sound again. She looked at me again and then peeked over my arm, trying to figure out where the noise was coming from. This happened twice more over the next couple of minutes before finally stopping. After a few more minutes, I was able to put Kali to sleep and put her in the crib.

I went into our bedroom where Mrs. Lime was already watching TV on the bed.

Me: Finally got her to sleep.

Mrs. Lime: That's good. (reaches for a mug on the side table)

Me: What's that you're drinking?

Mrs. Lime: (grin) A chocolate milkshake!

Me: That was you! I heard a spinning noise downstairs and wondered what it was. Kali went from eyes closed to wide awake every time you ran the blender!

Mrs. Lime: Listen, I've had a rough week! I had a craving and I needed it right then!

Me: I've got nothing against cravings, but it couldn't wait for 5 minutes until Kali was asleep?

Mrs. Lime: Well, I did try to keep quiet. I took the blender into the pantry and closed the door so it wouldn't be as loud.

Me: (laughing) So that's why the sound was muted.

Mrs. Lime: Yes. (grin)

Me: Well, next time, just try to hold off the cravings for a few minutes until the baby's asleep.

Mrs. Lime: OK. (grin)

She somehow thinks that throwing in a sheepish grin here and there will somehow disarm me in these conversations. She's likely right, but I'll attempt to resist.

500 post milestone!!!!!!!!!

Ah, just over two years and I've finally reached my 500th post. I averaged around 240 posts a year for my first two years. Hopefully I can keep posting at that pace for many years to come. If my output or quality of posts ever decreases at any time, I will blame Mrs. Lime, Kali 0.11 or Nova 7.9 for failing to give me enough material to write about. Right now, that's not a concern in any way.

The day that girls rule...........

The best non-holiday day of the year has arrived. At 8:00 AM, my selection of Girl Scout cookies arrived, delivered by a co-worker who's daughter is a Girl Scout. I bought a wide selection to make sure nothing was missed.

My next thought now that I have a daughter is whether my daughter will be selling these addictive things when she gets older. Further yet, if my daughter is a Girl Scout, will I be a Den Mother? Oh, the possibilities are endless.........

She's a clean freak............

Well, it's nearly two weeks after Christmas and we still have our X-mas tree up. Mrs. Lime has been busy with work and other things, so I've been doing most of the babysitting. Kali 0.10 hasn't tossed her cookies (or other vegetables) in a few days, so hopefully the worst is behind us in that regard. She's been refusing to eat any orange or yellow vegetables lately. I think that she's somehow correlated the fact that she threw them up a couple of times as proof that those veggies are bad ones. If you try to open carrots or squash in front of her, she throws a fit and refuses to eat them. If you bring out the green veggies, she'll eat them without any problems. Interesting that she's putting together logic like that, even if it is slightly flawed in design.

Kali 0.10 is also into mimicking everything that we do right now. Mrs. Lime had the vacuum out yesterday and was using the attachment to clean the couches. Kali watched her from the other side of the room for a bit as she was initially scared by the noise. When she became comfortable with the noise, she crawled over to Mrs. Lime and climbed up her leg. Once Kali was upright, she grabbed onto the handle of the attachment that Mrs. Lime was using and began to make an up-and-down motion, just like Mrs. Lime had been doing to clean the couch. I told Mrs. Lime she was going to have to get her a toy vacuum to help clean the house now that Kali knows what's going on.

I'm heading over to a manager's meeting tonight for a basketball league that I'm joining. I'm assuming we'll get the usual speeches about behaving ourselves and that we'll be booted from the league if we misbehave. I'll then have to pass that on to my ultra-competitive teammates and make sure they behave themselves as well.

Why Republicans are rooting for Hillary..........

Overheard this conversation this morning between three 50-some women in my office..........

Lady #1: Did you see that Hillary lost to Obama and Edwards?

Lady #2: Yeah, she's driving me nuts. That woman somehow thinks she just gets the votes of all women by default.

Lady #3: I wish that Hillary would have somehow taken in some of the speaking skills of her husband. It looks like she has none of those skills.

Lady #2: I agree. I'm a middle-aged woman and all she does is piss me off.

Lady #1: I'm just glad Obama won. It's just something new.

This isn't the first time I've heard this kind of banter in my office, which is mostly composed of women in their 40s and 50s. There's a lot of women that just dislike Hillary Clinton with a passion.

I've always argued that there's not a single person who could set back the future presidential hopes of women more than electing Hillary Clinton as president. She's a polarizing figure who is very abrasive and unyielding in her demeanor. Having her in the White House for 4 years would make people not want to vote another woman into office for some time, despite the fact that future women may have absolutely no similarities to Hillary Clinton.

Thankfully, the support for Hillary seemed to be centered in the far left core of the party with independent voters polling strongly against her, which means that there's little chance that she would win the presidency. The best-case scenario in regards to moving towards a female president would be for Hillary to win the nomination but to lose the election. It would pave the way for future women to reach those levels. It would also paint Hillary as a more sympathetic figure and leader, rather than allow her to be a polarizing figure in the White House, setting the table for a future woman to run as a unifying candidate and win the Presidency.

Driving with the divinity...........

I have a beef with a certain segment of the population. It appears that people with a bumper sticker that says 'Jesus' with a fish symbol surrounding his name are out to get me.

A couple of days back, I was driving to work in a pretty heavy snow. I was driving cautiously in my Mustang, as it doesn't handle in the snow too well. I was in the slow lane. Out of nowhere, a SUV buzzed by me, just missing my driver's side door. I realize that SUV's can go faster in snow, but I also know they handle well enough in the snow that there was no reason for him to get so close to me. As he whizzed by, one thing stuck out. A giant sticker on the back of his vehicle that said 'Jesus' with a fish surrounding the name. I only wish there was a 1-800 number below the fish sign where I could have called Jesus and reported just how bad of a driver this guy really was. I'm sure Jesus wouldn't want his name associated with that kind of behavior.

Flash to this morning. I'm driving to work in the slow lane, though I was travelling at a much swifter 70 MPH. Just as an exit only ramp is about to end on my right, a large pickup truck cuts in front of me to avoid the 'exit only' ramp. He must have come out of nowhere, as I had checked that lane not too long before that. I see the bumper and, you guessed it, a big old 'Jesus' sticker surrounded by a fish symbol is on the back of this truck. He proceeds to accelerate ahead, weaving in and out of traffic without much regard for safety.

I'm not sure what's going on here, but I think Jesus and his PR people need to get on the phone and make sure that drivers that carry his name on their back bumper are driving safely. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that Jesus does not approve of this behavior. These people need to get their license revoked by a power much higher than the Missouri Department of Transportation.

The 10 month old who just keeps growing.........

There's an unintended consequence of having a daughter who is growing much quicker physically than she is mentally. I'm certainly not saying she has any learning issues. She seems to be quite smart actually.

The problem is that I have a 10 month old daughter trapped in the body of an 18 month old child. Most 10 month old children are very exploratory. They crawl everywhere and walk around to some extent. My daughter does those things, but because of her height, she's able to reach a lot of areas that a normal 10 month old can't reach. She's now grabbing items off of kitchen tables and some lower counters. She's nearly able to push the buttons at the top of her baby swing by standing on her tippie-toes. Mrs. Lime and I are having to do another major adjustment as far as what we can leave on tables and counters. I thought we had solved some issues by installing child locks, but evidently that just pushed her to reach to higher levels to get into trouble.

I'm sure this will be an ongoing battle as she continues to grow taller and faster. I only hope that we can keep up.