A whole new (non-verbal) world..........

I recently finished a book entitled "Read 'Em and Reap!" by Joe Navarro. It's a book written by a retired FBI officer. In the book, he discussed the non-verbal indications that we make every day that show how we fee about a situation. The book is written to help poker players easily read their opponent's "tells" that usually give away the strength/weakness of a player's hand. It's a great book and I'd recommend it to even non-poker players.

The most interesting part of the book is that it applies to all kinds of things on a daily basis. The author states that you should work on your observation skills of others on a daily basis to refine your 'people reading' skills. I actually did exactly that in a meeting that I attended this morning.

I noticed several non-verbal indicators from some people in the meeting. At one point, I watched the manager listening to a programmer's explanation of a situation. I made a great read and noticed a slight change in the eyebrows of the manager that gave away that she was obviously quite dissatisfied with what she was hearing. She was trying to cover it up, but it was easy to see if you were looking for the indicator.

Later on, another programmer was describing how part of the system worked. The programmer gave off multiple indicators that he was not totally sure that the program changes he made would work as designed. They included slumping in the chair, rubbing his legs/feet together, and touching his hand to his face in a certain manner. All of these 'tells' indicated a major lack of confidence by this programmer. My read on his mannerisms proved correct this afternoon. We received his software to test and it's a disaster. He knew that the software wasn't up to snuff, but wasn't willing to tell the manager to her face in the meeting this morning.

My point in all this is that a simple reading of this book has opened up a whole new world to me as far as understanding how people feel, even when they won't tell you. It's amazing that so many people give off so much information without saying a word. It's even more amazing that more people don't learn how to read this valuable information in all facets of life to understand exactly what people are telling you, without ever saying a word.