Dubious impressions........

I went in to the dentist office yesterday to get some impressions done. That's the process where they stick a big pile of slimy pink stuff in your mouth and 30 seconds later, it comes out as a perfect mold of your teeth. It's really not fun and somewhat icky (for lack of a better word).

I get to the office and find just one lady taking care of the whole place. My dentist has two offices and evidently they're all at the other office. This lady is evidently the one that does impressions and helps out with some of the cosmetic procedures.

Attractive girl in her 20s who's pretty flirtatious. She sits me down in the chair and starts some side-chatting.

Lady: So, how are you today?

Me: Great.

Lady: Outstanding. My name is Susan and I'll be doing the impressions for you today. Here's the remote. I'm not sure how to get the TV to work. I'll let you give it a try.

I fumbled around with the remote while she was out of the room. Couldn't get it to work. She eventually came back in.

Lady: So, you couldn't get it to work either? Bet you thought I was just the dumb blond who doesn't know anything about technology!

She pushed a few buttons and finally got the TV to work, but there was no sound. She left it on a luau show on the Travel Channel.

Lady: Ah, well. Hawaii's nice, even without sound. So, do you have any kids?

Me: Yep, I have a 7 month old.

Lady: Boy or girl?

Me: Girl.

Lady: AWWWWWWWWWWW! What's her name?

Me: Kali.

Lady: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! I bet she's a cutie. I have a 5 and 7 year old. Love 'em. OK, we're ready to do the first impression. I'll go ahead and put a bib on you and treat you like a baby!

At this point, she had loaded up this impression thing full of pink goop and was ready to do the impression. At this point, I made a comment that I didn't think fully through until after I said it..........

Me: Are you going to stick that whole thing in my mouth?

Lady: (laughing at my comment) Yep!!!! Are you one of those people that gags when it's put in your mouth?

Me: Ummmmm, I don't know.

Lady: Well, just breathe through your nose and don't think about what's going on.

I'm not sure I need to comment any further about the above conversation. The best thing was that I had no way of talking any more at that point with the impression mold in my mouth. I was drooling all over my bib while staring at the ceiling trying not to toss my cookies all over myself. Meanwhile, the lady is still smiling and occasionally giggling from our previous conversation.

Lady: OK, all done! Thanks for not throwing up on me!

Me: Not a problem. It was the least I could do.

She did the other bottom impression without any issues. She let me rinse out my mouth and sent me on my way with a smile and a wave. I'm pretty sure that I was the butt of multiple jokes at her home last night. I suppose it's my special way of bringing joy into other people's lives.

***sigh***