Duck!!!!!!!

I headed out yesterday to try something new. I decided to go along with some friends to play paintball. I'd never done it before, so why not give it a whirl?

I was, by far, the 'veteran' member of the group. At 32 years of age, I was at least 10 years older than any other member of our group. There were 5 women and 5 men who were all college age. Thankfully, this didn't hurt my chances. What I lacked in youth, I made up for with determination and blind stupidity.

I slapped down my $25 in the main office and received a mask, a gun and 500 'balls of death'. I got geared up and wore my old jeans, a sweatshirt and some old tennis shoes. I pretty much looked like a killing machine. We got the basic rules:

1. Don't remove your mask anywhere outside the safe zone near the office. Your eyesight is gone if you get hit in the eye with a paintball.

2. You're hit and out if you get a quarter-size paint spot from any hit.

3. Keep shooting (OK, that was actually my rule).

The paintball fields were laid out over a large portion of land. There were probably 10-12 different battlefields to choose from. They actually had castles built that you could storm. They had large land fortifications where you could storm a hill with defenders at the top. There were all kinds of different defenses.

We started on the 'City' battlefield. Having never played, I wasn't sure what to do. I ended up being the aggressive player, trying to move up and create havoc by flanking the other team and slowing down their strategies. I had mixed results. In the first game, I did a pretty good job by sneaking up on the side and surprising two of the other team members. I was knocked out in the process, but taking out 2 was pretty rewarding.

We next went over and played on the 'Lego' battlefield. It had all kinds of different colored blocks for defense, hence the Lego nickname. I made a great rush up the side on one of my battles and had a guy lined up without him even knowing. Unfortunately, just as I was about to fire, I suddenly went blind as a paintball hit squarely in the middle of my mask. It's quite a surprise to see a paintball smack you in the face. I later had one hit the lower part of my mask. Since there are spaces in the lower part of the mask, I ended up with some paint splattered into my mouth. Totally harmless, but not exactly a tasty food substitute.

Later in the day, I ran up on the flank and had a guy laying flat on the ground and pinned down. Unfortunately, one of his buddies saw it and snuck up on me and nailed me right in the neck. It left a nice little hickey mark on my neck. That's never a good thing when your wife has been out of town and comes back to see a large red circle on your neck.

We played for about 3 hours. I will say that it was really good exercise. Running away from paint balls doesn't give you time to think about the fact that you're tired. It's just survival instinct at that point. I had a lot of paint on me (too many kamikaze runs), but the paint will wash out of the clothes. The cost is not exactly cheap ($30-35 a person depending on how long you play). I'd do it again. It was a lot of fun and provided a good distraction.